“Let-down” is the release of milk from the breast. It’s a normal reflex that occurs when nerves in your breasts are stimulated, usually as a result of your partner sucking. This sets in motion a chain of events, and hormones are released into your bloodstream. The hormone prolactin stimulates milk production, and the hormone oxytocin causes your breast to release or “let down” milk.


By definition an ‘Adult Nursing Relationship’ is any relationship in which a woman who is currently lactating is being suckled by her husband, or long term adult partner, as part of a continuing relationship. One of the more typical reasons a woman may enter into this type of relationship is to recapture, or perhaps experience for the first time, the unparalleled inner peace and deep spiritual bonding which occurs during breast feeding. For a variety of reasons a woman may want to experience the deep emotional pleasures of breast feeding, but may not want to take on the responsibility of parenting at that time. When this is the case, the couple may elect to enter into an adult nursing relationship.

The adult nursing relationship holds rewards for her partner also; as the nursing couple’s bond deepens, he will experience a profound emotional/spiritual coalescence with his partner that few men ever have the opportunity to experience. When this happens, the couple will experience all of the psychological and emotional sensitivities, both physically and spiritually, associated with postpartum breast feeding, but without the constraints of parenthood. In some cases, deeply committed, loving couples may exclude sexual contact altogether during their nursing sessions, and limit their breast feeding activities to spiritual and emotional coalescence only. In an adult nursing relationship: the quality of the relationship is more important than the quantity of milk.

In some cases, a deeply committed, loving couple may enter into an adult nursing relationship to create or enhance an already existing metaphysical interrelationship. The normal subconscious interrelationship which occurs during adult nursing can be cultivated into a metaphysical intercommunication between couples with psychic talents. Metaphysical experiences are often sporadic and difficult to control; however, the spiritual coalescence of souls, which occurs during an adult nursing session, is one of the few times that the chaotic thought process of the conscious mind can be calmed to the point where a person can gain control over the subconscious thought process, and master psychic communication.

When the souls of a psychic couple are coalesced into a single state of being during the adult nursing ritual, they aren’t just connected to each other, they are also coalesced with the incorporeal universe. When the couples metaphysical talents are complimentary, their life force may be combined as if it were one, creating more power or energy than either could achieve as individuals. Many nursing couples possess psychic communication without being fully aware of it. In deeply committed, loving relationships, it is not uncommon for a woman to be aware of her husbands thoughts and feelings, while her husband appears to be unaware of hers. Quite often psychic communication travels in only one direction, and before a woman can become aware of her husbands thoughts, he must first open his inner self and connect with her psychically. When deeply committed, loving couples take the time to learn how their individual talents compliment each other, they are better able to work together as a team.
Many young couples experience adult nursing for the first time when they return to love making after the birth of their child. The postpartum mother is lactating naturally, and it is not unusual for her husband to become curious about nursing and the taste of her milk. His suckling during foreplay causes elevated levels of the natural hormone oxytocin in her blood stream, which in turn not only causes the milk let-down reflex, but also causes an intensely arousing sensation known as uterine flutter. Myoepithelial cells, (a specialized skin cell in the walls of the milk ducts), contract when stimulated by oxytocin, forcing the milk forward toward the nipple during the let-down reflex. At the same time, the uterus, which is made up almost entirely of myoepithelial cells, is stimulated into a pulsation of rapid contractions by high levels of oxytocin in the blood stream.


The blissful emotional feelings which are brought on by being suckled, combined with the erotic sensation of uterine flutter, create a most unique and pleasure filled state of sexual arousal. Most men who have become proficient in love making have learned: the higher the arousal in the woman, the higher the arousal in the man. Even small amounts of breast milk can heighten sexual sensitivity. Note: A point of caution must be observed when adult nursing during the postpartum period. Adult nursing and/or any sexual activity must be done only after the child has finished nursing and been put down for a nap. Infant nursing and adult nursing must always be kept completely separate because children, (even in the infant stage), learn by example. A child should never be exposed to adult nursing or any sexual activity. Also special care should be given to scheduling adult nursing sessions, and to the amounts of milk being nursed, to insure there is always an adequate supply of milk for the child.

Also couples preparing to adopt an infant sometimes enter into an adult nursing relationship to aid with inducing lactation. Inducing lactation and increasing milk production to sufficient levels which will sustain an infant is an arduous task for any woman, even under the best of circumstances. Breast massage, nipple stimulation, and breast pumping are only partially effective methods for inducing lactation, even when supplemented by hormone enhancing drugs such as Domperidone. The emotional and spiritual coalescence, which occurs during adult nursing, is a far superior method of inducing lactation and increasing milk production than breast pumping and massage alone. To increase milk production to higher levels, a deeply committed and loving couple must bond in the same fashion as an infant bonds with its mother. The mammary system increases the production of milk only in response to the needs, (or hunger), of the person who is suckling; regardless of whether that person is adult or infant. Note: The loving, nurturing bond which has developed between the couple during adult nursing will later be transferred to the adopted infant. The initial period of bonding between the mother and adopted infant is a trying period; her husband must be mature enough to step back from adult nursing, and be supportive while she bonds with the infant.

The Art of the Latch

When reading posts in the ABF/ANR community or researching lactation, you’ll likely come across the word “latch” fairly often. Latch is the term used to describe the technique of sealing the lips and tongue over the nipple and areola in order to suckle milk. Latching is relatively simple in practice (almost everyone is born knowing how to do it); however, incorrect latch among adults is quite common and can reduce the effectiveness of the breast’s natural ability produce and express milk, and in some cases, prevent lactation altogether.
Perhaps the most common misconception is that milk comes from the nipple. In fact, milk must first be moved from the mammary glands, through the milk ducts, to small milk sinuses beneath the nipple and areola. This process is stimulated by the hormone oxytocin. Proper suckling technique easily expresses milk from a filled sinus–the problem is creating the proper stimulation to release oxytocin and begin the process. Many adults are accustomed to nipple-sucking as a form of foreplay, but this stimulation is different from the more engaged suckling needed to prompt the release of oxytocin and production of milk.
To latch correctly, the lips must be sealed against the areola, rather than just around the nipple. The recipient should try to fit as much of the breast into the mouth as is comfortable. Rolling the tongue back will pull the nipple and a portion of the areola back onto the tongue and press it against the roof of the mouth–this motion squeezes the milk sinuses behind the nipple, coaxing milk into the mouth. Minimum suction is needed because the recipient does not really “suck” milk from the breast so much as swallow any milk that has been pressed out of the sinuses. Suckling is accomplished by a pulsation of rhythmic sucking, moderate squeezing of the nipple and a portion of the areola by the tongue, and occasional swallowing. Sucking harder and squeezing roughly will not only get you nowhere, but can actually damage the milk ducts. If you’re trying to increase production, remember to continue suckling for a few minutes after the breast has emptied, which indicates to the milk ducts that they need to meet higher demand.
As a couple becomes experienced with adult nursing, suckling becomes rhythmic and relaxed. When suckled properly, women often experience bouts of uterine contractions (much like the ones that occur during orgasm) as a result of the intense hormone release – reward your partner accordingly! Each partner should be sure that the other is comfortable, and speak up if any discomfort or pain occurs. It can sometimes take time for the recipient to latch on without too much interference from the teeth. It is also totally normal for a “hickey” to form above/around the nipple after suckling, especially if the suckling partner has facial hair. I personally enjoyed the extra stimulation my partner provided by lightly, rhythmically squeezing my breast while suckling–not sure if it will actually accelerate the induction process, but it feels great!