Attempting to find the right partner is one of the most difficult aspects of an ANR. Finding a reliable partner to for ABF sessions is hard enough; finding a partner willing to commit to the induction, re-lactation, and/or maintenance of milk supply (and with whom you share a special connection to create the elusive “R” element of an ANR) can seem almost impossible. Your search for potential partners will take you in many different directions.
You may have to relocate to further the relationship. Those of you in major cities may have more luck, but the search can still take months of false starts. You have essentially two options: introduce ABF/ANR into a pre-existing relationship, or to seek out a new partner with the same passion. The former is the easier route. The theme of your search should be persistence…persistence…persistence. In time,your diligence will be rewarded.
Before you share your desires with someone, you must first be comfortable with them yourself. If you are trying to introduce ABF/ANR to your current partner, keep in mind that you are almost certainly your partner’s first introduction to the concept. As a result, you will be leading them. If you are comfortable, they’ll feel more comfortable too. And although our sexually-repressive culture tries to say otherwise, almost everyone has a bit of kink in there somewhere–so embrace your inner passion.Getting comfortable with your desire for ABF/ANR serves two important purposes: first, you’ll be modeling the type of positive behavior you hope your partner follows; second, your comfort will help to normalize ABF/ANR, making it easier for your partner to accept as part of your relationship. Fear of rejection or having your desires dismissed as “perverse” is intimidating, but making yourself vulnerable and putting your trust in your partner’s acceptance is the best first step for a healthy ABF/ANR experience.
In that sense, finding a new partner who is already on the same page is significantly less daunting. When searching for a partner, you may want to cast as wide a net as possible by posting on a popular forum like craigslist (where I made many connections and eventually found a long-term partner) or a dating website (many people seeking a certain fetish partner create dating accounts without photos or personal information that could reveal their identity), which enables you to find partners nearby. When posting in search of a partner, always be up front about your intentions. Are you looking for casual ABF or a committed ANR? Will the relationship be platonic? Are you looking to add other elements (dom/sub, role-play, etc.)? Then be clear about who you’re looking for. Does age matter? Relationship status? Commuting distance?
When responding to a post, be similarly honest about yourself and your desires. Most importantly, be respectful–and actually read the post. My inbox was flooded with messages from men (some merely a “hey baby ;)” or a “whats ur cup size”) who clearly either barely skimmed my post, or didn’t read it at all. This was incredibly frustrating.
What Women Want
- Women are not looking for men who want a single nursing session with us just to satisfy a lifelong curiosity.
- They don’t want to be asked to send photos of their breasts. I can’t emphasize strongly enough how much they don’t want that.
- They don’t want to be asked questions of an overtly sexual nature, like whether or not they have orgasms when we nurse. Most compatible man/woman relationships are eventually going to become sexual, but just like a conventional relationship, it will happen only when a level of trust and comfort is reached.
- When you ask a woman what she wants from an ANR, she’s probably going to use words like “intimacy” and “bonding with my partner.” Listen to what she’s saying. She’s not talking about one-shot deals with strangers. She’s looking for one man and one right relationship.
- Treat them with the same level of respect you would show to a woman you were meeting on eHarmony. You wouldn’t ask her to describe her breasts.
They want to be seen as the whole women that we are, not as circus freaks who have a bizarre sexual talent to offer.
- When you’re unsure about how much personal or intimate information you can ask of her, follow the woman’s lead. She’ll set the tone.